Recently retired LRSD Co-Leader Jeffrosaw has just returned from retirement. The crazy war veteran returned and proved he still has the skills to play for a championship caliber squad like the LRSD. Jeffrosaw dominated several games last night as the Alpha and Bravo teams played together as one and dominated several squads. One team in particular was a team from Boston. The Boston Call of Duty Team could not compete with the LRSD and was dominated by the overwhelming fire power supplied by Alpha and Bravo fire squads. The Alpha and Bravo teamed worked together perfectly forcing teams into submission. Jeffrosaw put out an MVP caliber performance in his return to the squad but was very angry about his Mad Dog Madden Rating. Jeffrosaw rated an overall 81 in the May edition of the ratings was furious with his rating. Jeffrosaws performance probably earned him several Mad Dog Madden points. The new ratings will be released the last week of May. Jeffrosaw was quoted saying “An 81!! A Fu*king 81!! I’ll shove all 81 inches of my foot in your A**!! God Damn delusional son of a B*tches!!”. The council has released a statment saying “The Mad Dog Madden Ratings are computerized and if Jeffrosaw was not retired at the time of the Madden ratings were released the results could of possibly been different. If Jeffrosaw wants to have a better rating he’s going to have to battle with the LRSD and not on the underground circuit.”
Other News:
DiaperDandy returned off his 10 game suspension and didn’t show any ring rust. DiaperDany promised he will not throw dirt on the LRSD name again. Can Diaper stay out of trouble?
Magic Wooshy still missing in action. Wooshy was recently demoted to the Bravo Team has yet to show up for practice or games. The LRSD Council is considering several punishments and fines for Wooshy inexcusable absence. Wooshy has currently tallied up over 500 dollars in fines. When will Wooshy return?
Spit Metal has came in and replaced Mad Dog as the new LRSD leader. Mad Dog was old and washed up so this addition of Spit Metal could turn out to be the best thing to happen to the young LRSD squad. Spit Metal is old but his experience will help the LRSD, especially the Bravo Team. Would Spit Metal beat Mad Dog in a head to head battle?
Nardskilla has recently angered several members of his Bravo Team along with some Alpha Team Members. Leader of the Bravo Team Feccy J was quoted in saying “Nardskilla is not a Team player. Nards does not follow orders and runs off and dies too many time.” Captain SkippyBoo was quoted in sayiing “Nards either changes his attitude or he’ll be digging trenches with the Charlie Team. Captain lX P Xl said “Nards better shape up cause he ain’t worth a damn.” Will problems with Nardskilla continue?
Bore has performed well recently dominating SkippyBoo on several head to head altercations. Bore is rumored to be moving up the Mad Dog Madden rating cart. Rumor has it Bore could move up 2-3 rating points. SkippyBoo was quoted in saying “Fu*king Bore is my Kryptonite.” How high can Bore go?
Razorhead currently Charlie Team member performed well in battle in Team scrimmages. Razorhead played as a part of the Alpha Team in a nightly Alpha vs Bravo Team scrimmage and recorded a clutch performance. Razorhead wasted 3 members of Bravo Team to pull out a clutch victory. Razorhead could possible be awarded one Madden point for his efforts and stay slightly above the Mad Dog Madden rating minimum of 45. There is a rumor Razorhead was taking performance enhancers before the game that is why the game is currently being reviewed by the council. Did Razorhead use performance enhancers?
BobLilCack currently doesn’t want to be known as LilCack. He has recently submitted a review to the council to have his name changed. Will the council hear LilCack’s case?
HighFive was missing for several days. His Mad Dog Madden rating is rumored to be going down several points for his lack of games played. HighFive’s performance may not be down but his attendance has gone down. Attendance is a major issue facing HighFive and Spit Metal the new leader has not been satisfied with HighFives effort to attend Team Meetings and Battles. Is a possible demotion in the future of HighFive?
GymboSlice of course has dominated every game and could be in the running for the monthly MVP award. Gymboslice has shown versatility with many weapons proving again he is the most versatile and dangerous member of the LRSD. GymboSlice is rumored to be up for a 5 point Mad Dog Madden rating improvement. Can Gymboslice get any better?
Takedownspecial is rumored to be in contract talks with several other teams. Takedown is currently under contract with the LRSD for 3 more years. The council is investigating these rumors and discipline will be taken if necessary.
